![]() ![]() While these actions may seem relatively harmless, over time, this pattern causes the targeted person to feel confused, anxious, isolated, and depressed. Trivializing the other person’s feelings as being too sensitive when their reaction is somewhat normal.Ĭheck out this page if you’d like more examples or a deeper understanding of what is gaslighting.Denying promises that you know you made.Pretending to forget what actually occurred when you actually remember.Questioning the other person’s memory of events when they remember correctly.Labeling your partner’s thoughts as crazy or imagined.Pretending not to understand when you do.Gaslighting includes a variety of techniques, such as: It is one of the worst forms of dirty fighting, and it is used by both men and women. Gaslighting is psychological manipulation that makes the recipient question their feelings, instincts, and even their sanity. In it, a husband attempts to drive his wife crazy by dimming the gas lights in their home, and then denying that the light changed. The term comes from a 1930’s stage play, Gas Light, and then later two movies made in the 1940’s, both titled Gaslight. The scenario described above is called gaslighting. Get your significant other to question him or herself, to become unsure of their thoughts, and the heat will come off of you. Tell them they’re crazy-that they are making it all up. ![]() Insist that you didn’t say or do what your partner is complaining about, even though you know they’re at least partially right. Rather than getting defensive, you go on offense. I’ll do anything to avoid one of those ugly conflicts we have. “And then there is the conflict that is likely to follow. “Next thing I know, everything is going to be my fault,” you think. But admitting it or apologizing for your actions feels like it is going to open up a whole can of worms. It was a bit selfish on your part, or maybe it was hurtful to them. If you’re honest about it, it wasn’t your best moment. Your partner is upset with you for something you did. ![]()
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